My hands began totremble again."You want to go to bed with your own mother? Me!"I simply shook my head up and down while staring atthe floor."Alex, look at me right now."For some reason, I couldn't move. It was like my braindid a lock down or something. She gently clasped herleft hand under my chin and steered my head towardher."Son, how can I do something like that with you andhow could you ask such a thing of me! This is sosurreal. I can't even think right now. Alex, baby--just goto your room and we'll talk tonight after supper. I needto think about what you've just said. I'm not mad atyou, but I'm certainly not happy either. I need time tothink about what I'm going to do about your problem."I went up stairs to my room feeling flushed fromnervousness and embarrassment for what I'd just done.It felt good getting it off my chest, yet at the same time,I also felt mad at myself for coming clean with myproblem and for being cursed. Why did this have tohappen to me. I didn't go looking. He’d rest, take a nap just for a few minutes. Not long, just let the lids drop for a few, just a few. His eyes opened. The shaft of light had crept closer and was bigger now, like a small ball, it seemed to be heading for his face, moving across the ground in response to the movement of the sun. He stared at it, the brightness in the gloom dazzling his eyes, hurting them. He closed them and still saw the bright spot. His body relaxed, he felt boneless, almost collapsing into the ground. He could feel the earth moving, turning in space. A huge ponderous movement, like a giant clock, unstoppable, but true and steady. Was the loud buzzing sound his imagination? Or was it the sound of the gears working, gears that slowly slowly moved the earth around, causing the bright spot of sun to work its way closer and closer. He shut his eyes, just for a second, just a second, just for a minute. He licked the sweat on his upper lip and brought the moisture and taste back to his dry mouth. He was.
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